Well, I’m not much one for causes, good or otherwise. I’m not a joiner.

What? I’m the asshole. Just because I say what’s on everybody’s mind?

Look, I don’t want to take sides here, but I want to say, for the record, categorically, never.. never stick a finger up a grown man’s ass without warning. Don’t do it.

I just threw up in my mouth a little. You had 20 centuries of halfway decent verse to choose from and you’re going with some minor Frosty?

I consider that whole area – general area – my cock. Like, from my knees to my nipples – cock.

For a radical environmentalist such as yourself, this whole evening must have given you a clit-boner.

Do whatever you have to do. Beg, plead, cry. Get down on bended knee. ’cause I’m telling you, no amount of top-shelf pussy can compete with the love of a good woman.

Girls know at once whether they want to fuck, marry, or kill a guy. Which begs the question: how am I doing?