Have you ever spent time with an 11-year-old boy and wanted more from him than he was willing to give? Have you ever breathed in the scent of a woman’s sweaty, unwashed sex and just wanted to bottle and sell it at market? Have you ever been so drunk on cock you howled at the moon and begged for a few inches more?

You know, it’s true what they say about pot. It’s very much a gateway drug. And it can be a gateway to some pretty cool things. But it can also lead to poverty, despair, stunted adolescence, man-breasts.

Sue Collini always gets the wienie.

Hate the game, not the playa.

You can’t blame everything on the economy, douche bag.

Who needs emotions? I’m thinking about your tube steak.

Who wants to see me tuck and do the pee-pee dance?

What? I’m the asshole. Just because I say what’s on everybody’s mind?

You really have to want to quit. You gotta hit rock bottom.