You kicked my dick out of the house. You made my dick homeless. “Out of doors” is a place where penises don’t fare well – in the rain and the wind and all that… My homeless dick now must seek shelter from the storm where and whence it can.

There is no right or wrong, just the consequences of your actions.

There is no “always”, there’s just right now.

Going to my mother’s makes me want to do drugs! A lot of ‘em!

No one walks in L.A.

If you keep cracking jokes and taking another drink and pretending that life is one big, stupid party, you will miss everything.