What was that? What’d you just say just now? L.O.L.? Laugh out loud? That’s a part of your lexicon? Really? L.O.L.?

I love women. I have all their albums.

Last time we tried anal during the light of day… Not pretty, remember?

Right, there you were, just minding your own business, walking down Abbot Kinney when your dick fell in me. Oopsie.

Anything with half a cock and one ball is gonna get a rise out of these kids.

What am I talking about? What am I talking about? I don’t know half the fucking time what I’m talking about.

All right, so, at the end of the day, if you can do anything else… telemarketing, pharmaceutical sales, or ditch digging, major league umpire… I would suggest that you do that, because being a writer blows.

B to the I to the double L. What’s up, my nig nog? Well, you should have called. I wouldn’t have answered, but you could’ve left a message, which I would have quickly erased.

It’s about a girl. She’s beautiful. She’s smart and funny, up for all kinds of intercourse.

I’m back, and you’re Black, which is cool. I’m a big fan of Black Jesus.