Imagine my fucking disappointment when you turned out to be the biggest cliché of all, sitting there and googling yourself.

Okay, so not only are you a cadaverous lay, you also have a shitty taste in movies.

Honey trust me, getting your asshole bleached would be much more fun.

Something tells me it’s not gonna suck itself, Hank.

I google myself but I never cheated on you. Never.

In what universe is fucking someone when you’re married to somebody else not cheating?

I think we can all agree by and large that men are assholes.

Why would I wanna get to know a guy who’s so in love with himself that he hangs out in a bookstore reading his own work.