Take it easy there, Diane Arbus. Don’t have a coronary, ’cause I wouldn’t know how to explain that to your wife.

I think I just lost my manhood. And got hungry at the same time.

I’m trying to mentally masturbate about it, but an image of you keeps popping. That’s a problem.

A morning of awkwardness is far better than a night of loneliness

I miss your smell. When you left, I couldn’t wash the sheets because I didn’t want to lose that completely… You. And… it fucked me up for a long time because I would wake up and I’d smell you and I’d think you were there. And that would… My heart would break all over again. I think that’s why I go in for the kiss all the time. I know, yeah. I think I’m going for… another hit.

You don’t deny your man the ass. You give it to him. Because once he knows he can have that… he ain’t gonna want that shit anymore.

Yo, KFed, the little man in the boat? He’s up here, that’s where he is!

Did you ever have one of those days where you feel like a tired, old whore whose uterus is about to fall out? I think I’m in touch with that emotion.

What was that? What’d you just say just now? L.O.L.? Laugh out loud? That’s a part of your lexicon? Really? L.O.L.?

There are some images you don’t want floating around your pretty little head. Trust me, it’s like a Mapplethorpe shoot in there, except with less cock.